ROLLER COASTER MOOD

Recently, Imma in the roller coaster mood.

I'm sometimes in HAPPINESS

but

Mostly I'm in PAIN & STRESS

or 

Perhaps I'm DEPRESSED too.

Here it is, the storyline of my roller coaster mood.

I always own an advantage and also a disadvantage.

I care my every single close friend/best friend very badly.

Imma girl who will sacrifice and do whatever it takes to give my best to them.

But each and every single time, I ended up suffers in PAIN.

Perhaps, I should say it's always in PAIN.

I've always been thinking :

" Do I have the need to tell people around me about my mood and feelings?"

I always wonder.

I bloody do.

Sometimes, when people around you get to feel you are different is great though.

But, to think back, Is it really that great?

Let's ask myself.

My relationship.

Do I feel secured and satisfied with it.

Yes, I DO.

and its like

YEA, I SUPER DO.

Well, if people around me whom are close to me, they know

THAT Le BOY & I are very well going or so call sweet.

I admit, WE DO.

We are really smooth going in our relationship.

We are sweet indeed.

*not trying to show arrogant but just to spit all my feelings out*

But, le Boy and I would get to be in this state today is due to our FATE, I strongly believe.

People can say, If its wasn't me, the both of them wouldn't be ended up like today.

OR

Peopla can say too, If it's wasn't me letting them both, they wouldn't be like today.

Well, Rumour are still and always be Rumour.

I don't care whatever shit you would like to call it on me.

You can call me BITCH if you want to.

But, I strongly accuse.

I did not steal your freaking guy over.

and

IN LOVE/ RELATIONSHIP, 

there's nothing called, 'LET' or ‘退让’ in chinese.

So far, I've been in a relationship for twice.

I admit, both time, I could get to know my boyfriends is due to Friends.

But can you tell me, if its wouldn't friends?

How do we make more Friends?

I admit, my first & second boyfriend are the EX of my close friend.

First, was my longest known BFF/ Sister.

and

Second, which is the CURRENT one was once the EX of my Close Friend.

Here's something to my little sis,

Im really sorry for you. 

I really feel bad and guilty towards you.

But I'm really glad that our Friendship are still that strong after overcoming and facing major and various problems.

I highly and greatly thank you and apologize to u sincerely with my purest heart.

Love you still sis, if you don't, I won't blame u.

But I love you, I really do.

Now, as for my current one.

People may say Imma bitch.

I don't care cos I've not being doing anything wrong yet.

Hmm, perhaps a tiny little wrong in it.

But I own it my own.

MY VERY OWN.

I did not use any dirty tricks or whatsoever like other PRO Bitch will do. 

 I don't owe anyone.

When I got to be with him, that time we guys know things very well & clearly.

Don't we??

So if you can't put things down or another way of say being more matured,

I guess you'll never be happy.

There's more to say but, I don't know how to express out yet.

P/S : This post I don't have any bad intention towards anyone.

It's just I wanted to share my own feeling which had been kept in my heart for a long time out here in my very personal and own blog.

Hope none of you will gets misunderstands here.