NUMB with it? or DEAD with those?

我只能眼阵阵的看着你的快乐和幸福····················
我希望你会根幸福·······

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

很痛，真的很痛····

【最好的朋友，好朋友，Close的朋友 & 普通朋友】

现在，我已经不会分辨每个的意识了···

这些字都有差别吗？

我已经没感觉了···

因为····

我已经麻木和死了···


如果真的能离开哪也许会跟好吧？？

Another bad one`

为什么不说心里话?`

Outside Im one`
Inside Im another one`
Im different than you thought`
Life's tough, live it!
Since life's tough, why dont one face life happier at happier place, situations or country which could oso lead one's life even brighter & more brilliant??

Fill them up with more happier moods at some other place maybe even better? Right??
Everyday's routines must still go on`
Memories and histories are gonna be sticked in one's brain & memory daily`
Memories & Histories are fixed to one's memory`
It's hard to forget those events wic are unhappy, hurt and sad`

I WANT LIFE THAT ARE FILLED WITH LAUGHTER & HAPPINESS INSTEAD OF LIKE NOW`
I DONT WANT UNHAPPY, SAD, HURTFUL & DULL LIFE!!!  :'(

为什么呢？

为什么我的命就是这样的？


永远没人会发现到我的付出和我的默默的付出？


为什么人人都只是看到我的缺点，没尝试的看我的优点？



为什么？？？？？！！

ANTI KAIKAI! =.=!

Yesterday night`

Ah Ley (Shirley) brought her birthday letter that Sukee had given her during her birthday`
Well, its about Friendship that they had been walking tgt since Kindergarten ( almost 13 years ) !
Whoot! Wow! Its damn touching!!
Even me, myself and Joan, read the letter till teardroped!
It is really really touching and awesome to have such friends who had been such long's friendship and she treasured everything so much` AWESOME!!
Wish i could have this type of feelings too`
I told Ah Ley, " Ley ah, u so lucky to have such long and best fren and oso a best fren who treasured the both friendship of you both! Nice ard! must treasure ar` "
Then, without knowing the reasons why of myself teardroped for quite sometime!

Today's`

Phew, maybe due to some of my bad things or bad wounds had cause these to happen, (teardrops easily)
Recently, can almost say eveyday at least i will *** once a day`
NOT PMS okay! =.= ( Khas untuk Benjamin Tey )

Mostly, its cos of Friendship & Studies problems!

Dont have to say way too far, my BI's marks,
can say mostly is the highest among my class ( not trying to show off o, tq )
But now???!
Im dropping like HELL!!
Mostly, i always have at least a no starting with 8X%
but now? its dropping vry badly!!!
Just SIMPLE QUESTIONS ( informations transfer )
I cant even get at least 80%?????!! WTF!!!
What's goin on??!
ANG KAIKAI! damn disappointed toward u! SHIT!
Wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Other than BI subjects, mostly others cant see la!
WTH! DAMN! ANG KAI KAI!!!!
U MUST NOT BE SHIT ANYMORE!!!
Slaps and wake up! =.=!!!

PK2 results SUCKS!
Everything bout mysef SUCKS!
Marks SUCKS!
EVRYTHING REALTED to me all SUCKS!
SHIT!
What had happened???!
HATE IT!!!!!!
U NEED TO CHANGE!!!!

WAKE UP!!!

=.= !

Hoping for it`

Today I was kinda sad inside my heart when i got my PK2 results`
Phew` Yesterday teardroped`
Today, crying inside heart`
Well, its not totally bad thou!
At such sudden, i was chatting with Jasmine and gang,
then Ngasian appeared out of the blue to us`
Declaring the result of Bio in PK2`
She said to Yimay`
Yimay! ni de Bio na XX%, wo na XX%! hehehe
Then, i was like, die jiu die la!
So, i asked Ngasian, what about me??
She answer, Jiemin said :
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(TO BE CONTINUE)

Hoping for the good news! Will update once i got the truth! :)

KAIKAI JIAYOU!!!!! > < '

Present feelings` /.\

我开始对我们有了种大大大的担心！！


开始的在烦，在想····

这样做是对的吗？

对大家是好呢，还是坏呢？

也许··

你们还是没看到我的改变···

但，我有再改了··

我真的在努力当中！

希望你们相信我···

我真的有时是很Stress的···

不要想别的好吗？

希望你们不会误会···

也··

希望你们明白我现在的心情···

对不起···我当了一个那么没碎尊的朋友···

对不起对不起对不起对不起对不起对不起！！

我还是要声明···

我不要吵架···

我没有要伤大家的意识···

我只是把我的心事和心情说出来···

真的真的没别的意识···

相信我，好吗？

希望这一切能在最短的时间解决吧！


我们大家都一定一起要加油！！！

相信我吧，

我还是象以前一样的爱你们！一直都是！ :')


今天在学校，
对着了我最爱当中的老师，
哭了~
那就是我的数学老师，
Miss Kerk`
她说了好多，也圈了我好多··
很感激Miss Kerk看到我的actions···
很感动··
谢谢MISS KERK！
我会加油的！
给我时间来镇明一切！
谢谢谢谢谢谢谢你！！
:)

P/S: Im BANANA har, pls forgive if there;s mistakes in this post ya` Thanks`

Its all sad situations` Sorry` :(

··对你··

总是有烦不完的烦恼！
咳···
我说啊···
拜托啦··
往好的方面想想嘛···
我们如果要继续的这样的话··
没有什么好事会发生的···
改一改吧··
对彼此也会跟好的···
该说的还是要说的····
' 不要然我觉得我没被你信任过的感觉，好吗？'
' 也不要然我觉得当初的决定和悬着是错的，好吗？'
' 不要给我有种后悔的感觉，好吗？'
我们都要想想这些才能变得跟好···
加油吧~ :(

至于···我们呢？

就先说你啦···
对不起··
不要怪我···
老实说···
我有种慢慢失去你们的纯在的感觉了···
咳····
有事你有你的另外些朋友····
我就会好像被落后或遗忘的感觉了····
我已近劲量不要想太多了···
我也不想在吵架了···
只是··
觉得将··
想说···
卸载这里···
逼近是我的
Only Place to elaborate my feelings····
SORRY if these hurt you！

说了她就到你了吧···
对不起啦····
真的是我自己发觉的啦···
不懂怎么了啦···
你也有那种慢慢的原理我了···
咳···
但，你有时也是还ok啦·· ;)
只是想大概然你知道啦···
对不起了··· :(

还是希望我们大家还是以前的我们啦···

就这样吧··· :/
我们大家都一起一起加油啦！ 》《''

SORRY IF ANYONE GET HURT! Truths always are bad and sucks quite bad sometimes!
Again, sorry! :'(
Sometimes, SORRY really seems to be the HARDEST WORD！:S

JB Trip!!

1st to school, then hop on the bus n headed to SRKR Princess Elizabeth's School ( kinda students are either blind or closely to the blind side). Then we headed to Sunway College and then to Jusco, Tebrau City and very lastly to the bus and back to BP! :D

Photos are always the best demostrations! XD

Enjoy, people!

 Group Photo!! :D

Our 1st Satrbucks!!! XD

Kinda all right overall, just got a bit frustrated with their noisy noises! HAHA! dont kill me har~ But bcos of you all's voice, make us feel happier and crazier too! :D

MOM! Muacks muacks!

Mom shared something with me today. Its kinda bout my life.

Mom said the number that i lack was NO9!

She said, i was overall alright.

Lack of NO 9, is kinda equals to lake of something.

And what did I lack of?

Mom said, i lack of this.

' What i do, or even if I wanna do for anyone, its seldom gonna show out, kinda like others won't see what i was trying to perform or do. In short, what great or good things that I do, its kinda hard for others to see or feel them and oso see thru my hardworks or either ways. '

Instantly, I told my mom!

'Yea, Mom. You re right! I totally agree with these! '

Mom advised me not to give up too easily. She said those people that appreciate me will gonna see thru these.

Next, she oso told me, she managed to count out some kinda Number by using my name and chinese zodiac.

She said, got 3 no. And she said that, im have XXX no. (forgot wat no le actually xD)

And those 3 numbers significe that not "kui ren" but is "zhu gou peng you" kinda things la.

Im banana! Guess. its something like that la.

She said friends around me may bring me harm and may not bring harm to me too.

She said, she's not trying to scare me or wanna ask me to get lost all my frens and oso not saying frens that i presently have are all bad.

She just wanna let me noe the reality and ask me to face and let me noe whats going on around.

She said oso, hoping i wont get into the 'lembang maksiat' kinda thing la.

Then i told her, yea. I know MOM! dont worry, im still fine!

I know how to differentiate between black and white & good and bad!

I know my frens well. I oso tell her i will face them and get rid of bad things!

Mom replied! Great to hear those from you! She even asked me to move on my life!

I was kinda touched! I cried in front of her. She cried too. :')

Another sentence that she gave me was, glad you know them and glad to have me as her daughter!

Awwww.... MOMMY! YOU ARE THE BEST!!! I LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!!!

P/S: i need to declare ya, people. Im not saying you all are bad ya. Im just writing what happened today. Hope no one misunderstood these ya! :)

That's it 1st. Convent's Interact Outgoing Dinner tmr evening! YAY! kinda excited right now! LOL! XD

Bye people! :D

Larian 1 Murid 1 Sukan 1 M'sia`

WHoa! Im no 1! Wahaha. LOL! the 1st one among all form 4 & form 5! Whoa, im damn lucky! HAHA.

But quite tiring after the run! LOL!

That's all at the moment. Bye! :D

Wuhuu! Birthday of...? XD

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO MY ONE & ONLY XINYEE DARDAR!! :)

Have a blast girl!

Thanks for everything!

May u stay happy n pretty always!

Best wishes in your future and life!

JIAYOU!!!!

Best Friends Forever! :D

Sports day!

-----30.6.2011------
Its the sports day of SMKC!!!!
This year, FORM 5 students only can participate in an event, 4X100m.
So....

These are the athelets of BIRU's 4X100m  :)

 BIRU's perbarisan! :)

We got GOLD for the one n only event we cud participate!

Im happy with the supports u gave me! Hope we could be like before!

Its my last spoets day. Im gonna miss this!!

BIRU JIAYOU!!
Biru dynamite Biru dynamite! *claps claps* :D

Who's gonna win gonna win gonna win,
We gonna win gonna win gonna win,
Who's gonna win,
We gonna win.
Who's gonna win,
we gonna win,
Oh~~~~~ Biru biru!!! :D

Next Year's BIRU's members JIAYOU! :)

I'll never forget BIRU! :D

Now what?

------28.6.2011--------

Had some talk thru chats of FB with you.

We had almost said everything out.

then, night, reach tuition. Things slowly gets to normal.

IM REALLY HAPPY AND TOUCHED with this.

I patched up with both of them during that night's tuition.

But, there's still one.

The one i cared the most.

--------29/6/2011---------

They asked me to talk to her.

i did.

she did kinda dont feel like wanna talk much.

so i left her.

Hey, but girl, im not trying to ignore you.

i was jz thinking that i shd give u sometime to calm down.

that's y i din talk much with you.

IM SORRY for everything! :(

Sigh` Being abandon or not?

--------28/6/2011--------

Everything had being messed up. Unexpected events happened. :'(

I dont know what to say. But its really hurting to see you all reated all these ways to me. Im sorry with all my words here, but since everyone wants to make everything clear, then lets us do it stiff and clear right now.

Thanks for letting me know What type of friend to you all. I really appreciate and very happy to know them.

Thanks for your sincerity and honesty. Thanks a lot.
Hmm... But some of the things you wrote or even u all think is not completely correct. Im sorry to burst your bubbles. But i wana let u all know the truth and everything.

About MY TEMPER, fine, i admit, sometimes my temper are indeed bloody bad.

Next about MY ATTITUDE, u said i like to force ppl. Okay fine, perhaps sometimes i did but i dont realise them. But about forcing the couple to be together? U said i forced the girl to do so?? Was it really, me alone?? Was it? We all know well right ? I did asked her to be with him, thats bcos i think he's a good guy. He will managed to give her happiness and joy. But, was it really true that, im the only one who forced them to be together?? Yea, perhaps most of the time, u see me keep asking her bout this topic. But, hey its cos i really agree that the both of them could be quite great to be together and bcos we are in the same class, that's y u only see me keep asking her to do these.

U said too, that i had forced u to do something before? Although till now i still cant find out what are they? But, girl i really did my very best for not making u angry or sad. I can tell you this! You are different from others. I can manged to get or know what others think or wants, but you? Its sometime really hard to know what you want and what you are thinking. You are the friend i treated with the highest care. Im trying not to step or the wrong line, as there are so many lines in front of me most of the time. Its really hard to choose the correct one. Its really quite like like trying to find a needle in the sea.

About my studies, I really ADMIT with this. Im really bad and fail in this! But im really starting to work on this already, i really need time.

Yea, I did cried for the whole day.

By the way, for yr info. I know these days things started to change.

Since Friday, things are changing very fast and rapidly till Monday, its still changing and should I say the moment you gave me her birthday wish card, things had started to change??? I felt that sad and hurt with that you know? Not that i jealous or anything. Its just i felt why i didnt do like what that? I tried to not show out. I don’t wanna mess things up. I kept quiet with that. Then, Friday, when I see you being so good to Joan, I noe you tried to get best of both worlds (not trying to critisize you). But, do you know how it hurts when I see you and Joan are so close till Ive that feeling of being abandon?? Like Monday, when she went to find Zhern Yee, your expression was keep looking for her. Keep finding or searching high and low for her?? My heart was kinda bleeding badly. I was thinking. Why?? Why can she be that close with you? Did you realize I was sitting and crying at a corner alone during Fri & Mon? Do you know how hurts am I to see, ‘yuan lai,’ our 11 years of friendship had lost to just few months of friendship??? Im never gonna break my friendship with you! NEVER!!!!!! Perhaps, you haven’t really know how and what kind of girl, she is. (Sorry to splash her cold water, but i wasnt doin it purposely) But, at some specific angle you don’t really felt or saw them yet, I can tell you this. I m not trying to back stabs her. But these are all the truth that i collected from all victims. Sometimes, I really find out some things that is gonna affect us9our frenship), I will try to leave them. I tried to be very careful with everything.

You said you are not perfect, so do I.

NOBODY’S PERFECT in this universe.

Everyone know that.

I hope you get what i mean and i will take this chance here to apologize to you all especially YOU(11years' best fren). I will try my best to change to be better and i hope you all understand what i mean and what im trying to perform to you all. Give me time girls. IM SORRY FOR EVERYTING!


Sorry for being such a Jerk or what so ever kinda bad girl/ friend to you. Sorry for polluting myself into your life / this friendship. SORRY FOR EVERYTHING! But, RENE, RMB this, YOU ALL ARE THE BEST FRIEND I EVER HAD! IM NOT GONNA LET THIS FRIENDSHIP OFF!!!

Because of this matters, i cant eat for 2days. I hope you all know how and what i feel and trying to let you all know. I m really just wanna make things clear. Again, IM SORRY if my words hurt you all. I really dont wish to lose you all! :'(