--------28/6/2011--------
Everything had being messed up. Unexpected events happened. :'(
I dont know what to say. But its really hurting to see you all reated all these ways to me. Im sorry with all my words here, but since everyone wants to make everything clear, then lets us do it stiff and clear right now.
Thanks for letting me know What type of friend to you all. I really appreciate and very happy to know them.
Thanks for your sincerity and honesty. Thanks a lot.
Hmm... But some of the things you wrote or even u all think is not completely correct. Im sorry to burst your bubbles. But i wana let u all know the truth and everything.
About MY TEMPER, fine, i admit, sometimes my temper are indeed bloody bad.
Next about MY ATTITUDE, u said i like to force ppl. Okay fine, perhaps sometimes i did but i dont realise them. But about forcing the couple to be together? U said i forced the girl to do so?? Was it really, me alone?? Was it? We all know well right ? I did asked her to be with him, thats bcos i think he's a good guy. He will managed to give her happiness and joy. But, was it really true that, im the only one who forced them to be together?? Yea, perhaps most of the time, u see me keep asking her bout this topic. But, hey its cos i really agree that the both of them could be quite great to be together and bcos we are in the same class, that's y u only see me keep asking her to do these.
U said too, that i had forced u to do something before? Although till now i still cant find out what are they? But, girl i really did my very best for not making u angry or sad. I can tell you this! You are different from others. I can manged to get or know what others think or wants, but you? Its sometime really hard to know what you want and what you are thinking. You are the friend i treated with the highest care. Im trying not to step or the wrong line, as there are so many lines in front of me most of the time. Its really hard to choose the correct one. Its really quite like like trying to find a needle in the sea.
About my studies, I really ADMIT with this. Im really bad and fail in this! But im really starting to work on this already, i really need time.
Yea, I did cried for the whole day.
By the way, for yr info. I know these days things started to change.
Since Friday, things are changing very fast and rapidly till Monday, its still changing and should I say the moment you gave me her birthday wish card, things had started to change??? I felt that sad and hurt with that you know? Not that i jealous or anything. Its just i felt why i didnt do like what that? I tried to not show out. I don’t wanna mess things up. I kept quiet with that. Then, Friday, when I see you being so good to Joan, I noe you tried to get best of both worlds (not trying to critisize you). But, do you know how it hurts when I see you and Joan are so close till Ive that feeling of being abandon?? Like Monday, when she went to find Zhern Yee, your expression was keep looking for her. Keep finding or searching high and low for her?? My heart was kinda bleeding badly. I was thinking. Why?? Why can she be that close with you? Did you realize I was sitting and crying at a corner alone during Fri & Mon? Do you know how hurts am I to see, ‘yuan lai,’ our 11 years of friendship had lost to just few months of friendship??? Im never gonna break my friendship with you! NEVER!!!!!! Perhaps, you haven’t really know how and what kind of girl, she is. (Sorry to splash her cold water, but i wasnt doin it purposely) But, at some specific angle you don’t really felt or saw them yet, I can tell you this. I m not trying to back stabs her. But these are all the truth that i collected from all victims. Sometimes, I really find out some things that is gonna affect us9our frenship), I will try to leave them. I tried to be very careful with everything.
You said you are not perfect, so do I.
NOBODY’S PERFECT in this universe.
Everyone know that.
I hope you get what i mean and i will take this chance here to apologize to you all especially YOU(11years' best fren). I will try my best to change to be better and i hope you all understand what i mean and what im trying to perform to you all. Give me time girls. IM SORRY FOR EVERYTING!
Sorry for being such a Jerk or what so ever kinda bad girl/ friend to you. Sorry for polluting myself into your life / this friendship. SORRY FOR EVERYTHING! But, RENE, RMB this, YOU ALL ARE THE BEST FRIEND I EVER HAD! IM NOT GONNA LET THIS FRIENDSHIP OFF!!!
Because of this matters, i cant eat for 2days. I hope you all know how and what i feel and trying to let you all know. I m really just wanna make things clear. Again, IM SORRY if my words hurt you all. I really dont wish to lose you all! :'(
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